I’ve received a lot of great feedback from last week’s Top 10 Tuesday – so I guess we’ll make it a regular thing! So today I was talking with my family and we got on the topic of words that are infecting the English language and need to make their exit from our vernacular! Now some of these have formed partnerships with other equally ridiculous words, so we do have some combo entries. In any case, these cringe-worthy words pop up all over the place and if they have crept out of your mouth, hang your head in shame!
Oh I get it, when you’re on vaCATION, but you’re STAYing at home! You know what else you can call that? A vacation. You know what you call a vacation when you go somewhere? A trip. Your vacation is no less vacationy if you never leave your house. So, if you are taking advantage of your much needed time off by playing a game of “reclusive hermit” you go right ahead and take pride in it! Don’t let anyone cheapen your glorious week-long pajama pants and Netflix marathons. The only word you need to use to describe this type of vacation is “AWESOME.”
Now that pretty much all electronic devices have the ability to show things in “Hi-Def” do we need to keep pointing out the fact that things are in Hi-Def? “Hey, wanna come over and watch football in Hi-Def?” “This Boogey Nights looks so amazing in Hi-Def!” “Quick, Sharknado is about to start! Turn it to the Syfy Hi-Def channel!” You know what else is in Hi-Def? Everything. The world is in brilliant quabillion pixel 3D Hi-Def – from the majestic Niagara Falls right down to the annoyed look I’m giving you every time you needlessly say Hi-Def.
I don’t care if you pronounce it DAY-ta or DAH-ta. Just stop pronouncing it. This one is unfortunate because it’s a word that is actually needed and useful and it has been beaten like a Donald Trump piñata with a kick me sign on it. Data analysis, data plans, unlimited data, data reviews, collecting data, data driven, data based, data, data, data…BARF! Stop! Just stop! Data has been used so much that no one even knows what kind of data you’re even talking about anymore! Remember that lame saying “That’s my name, don’t wear it out” that annoying kids used to say in school? Dear God, they were right! You can wear a word out!
7. Yummo, Yummers, Delish…
Dammit, Rachael Ray! Thanks to you these weird synonyms for “tasty” keep popping up. I’ve never been a big fan of “yummy” but it’s tolerable due to the fact that cute little kids say it. But the word has an age limit – unless you are a parent and you’re using it with your small child, the word just starts sounding creepy and ridiculous after a certain age. Picture a 40-year-old man with a deep voice and a lumberjack beard saying, “Thanks Mom, this cake is really yummy.” It’s just not right. But then we just make it worse by taking a nonsense word and making it more nonsensical! Yummo? Delish? How can words meant to describe something that taste amazing sound so unappetizing? “You want some of this pie? It is de-lish! Yumm-o!” Well, I did until about 2 seconds ago, now I’m going to have to pass AND never speak to you again. There are so many other words – REAL words – to describe something that tastes really good like, oh I don’t know, “this tastes really good.”
6. Vape and e-Cig
It is a great accomplishment if you can quit smoking. If you need one of those vaporizers to do it – more power to you! I have a couple good friends who use them and if they want to use them in my house I hope they get the chocolate mint flavor, because that smells pretty darn good! However, if they use the term “e-cig” or tell me that they need to “vape” their flavored water vapor will be traveling a more southerly route, if you know what I mean!
When something is crazy, but you need to describe it in a much more incoherent way, this may be the term with which you choose to infect my ears. Whether you are using “cray cray” in its entirety or sticking with “cray” for the sake of brevity – you’re sounding pretty “stup” (see what I did there? I just used the first syllable to describe what your one syllable version sounds like).
4. Bae, Boo, Wifey…
I’m married. I’m out of the dating scene. However, let’s pretend for a second that I’m not. If I was to be dating someone who referred to me as their “bae” or their “boo” it would be time for us to see other people. “It’s not you, it’s me…no actually it’s you.” And “wifey” – seriously?!! Wife isn’t enough of a term?!! If we had managed to stay together all the way until the wedding, avoiding all the “boos” and “baes,” and my bride-to-be used the word “wifey,” even if it was in her vows (and YOU KNOW someone has done that – probably more than we want to know), I would walk out of the church with my hands in the air swearing off dating (and possibly speaking to people) forever. It should probably be grounds for instant annulment.
“Wait, you guys got divorced?! What happened?”
“He called me his ‘wifey.'”
“Oh, well that’s understandable. I never liked him.”
Like “staycation” – this is one of those words created by someone who thought they were clever little wordsmiths. But, like the word they created, they are just so sadly wrong. But, unlike staycation, this combines two words to create a new word that doesn’t mean anything different than each of the words that make it up.
chill: (v – informal) to calm down and relax
relax: (v) to calm down or become less tense
IT’S THE SAME THING!!! Do you say you’re going to make “dupper” (dinner/supper) after you come back home from your daily “rog” (run/jog)? NO!! BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU SOUND LIKE A MORDIOT!!!
“You’re just mad because you’re jelly.” Grrrrrrrrr….. No, I’m mad because you felt the need to shorten the word jealous into a word that 1) takes just as long to say, 2) sounds almost exactly the same, and 3) is already a word for something else! And furthermore, I will NEVER be “jelly” of anyone who uses the word “jelly!”
I’m angry just typing this word. Every time I hear this word it’s like parading Justin Bieber wearing a pair of crocs in front of me. Again, like “data,” this used to be a useful word – and then it got dragged down into the depths of verbal asininity (boom – take that wannabe wordsmiths)! It became like a sneeze to the millennials!
“I got new shoes.”
I’ve even heard adolescents laughing at a joke – legitimately laughing – and say swag in the middle of a chuckle! “Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaa! Swag. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!” WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!!
And NOW there are kids who are making fun of the word “swag” and using the word “sweg” as a way of not using “swag” anymore. HOW IS THAT ANY BETTER?!! You know how to stop using a word? STOP USING THE WORD!